Need Your Help Immediately!
by MuggleBeene
Summary: When Ginny Potter needs a babysitter for her and some Harpies teammates, who better than her husband? Of course Harry can manage some children, after all he's done, right? Um, about that. Written for the HPFC Fic Exchange. Not part of the Professor Muggle series.


**Need Your Help Immediately!**

_**A/N: Written for the HPFC Fic Exchange challenge. **_

_2003, 12 Grimmauld Place_

Hermione Weasley stepped out of the Floo, worried. She'd been in a meeting regarding some difficult negotiations with the centaurs regarding land, specifically which lands they were entitled to, when one of the junior assistants barged into the meeting with an urgent note for her. Immediately her thoughts went to her husband, that something had happened to him on one of his Auror patrols, but when she saw the distinctively messy handwriting of Harry Potter it did nothing to allay her fears. She excused herself from the meeting, and after opening the letter in the hallway she didn't know what to expect.

_Hermione,_

_Need your help immediately! I'm at home and Ginny's out. Molly's out as well and I didn't know who to ask except for you. Hurry!_

_Harry_

In her mind Hermione imagined that one of the nasty things leftover from the Blacks' had surfaced again, just like it had a month or so ago when the claw-footed bathtub in the upstairs bathroom tried to gallop out the window with Harry inside. That would have been much easier for her to deal with than what she actually saw the minute she took in her surroundings, as a little boy of about five ran through the sitting room brandishing a wand and yelling at the top of his voice 'I'm 'Arry Potter and you mean Deaf Eaters are gonna get it!'

The shouts of several other children could be heard coming from other parts of the house, not to mention the thumping noises that came from the ceiling.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice was strained, questioning, and somewhat worried. She had recognized the wand the little boy held immediately; Harry's wand. "Harry, are you here?"

A loud series of thumps came from upstairs and shortly thereafter Harry came down the steps, but in a state that made Hermione cover her mouth to keep the laugh from escaping. He was dressed as he usually was around the house, jeans, t-shirt and trainers, but his hair was decidedly different. Instead of the usual unruly mass of black hair Harry Potter had green hair. What was left of it, anyway, as several bald strips showed as if he'd been attacked by a razor that had been incorrectly enchanted.

"Hermione, you have to help me!" He went over to her and grabbed her arm. "

A little girl jumped out from behind a chair. "Boo!" When Hermione didn't react the little girl gave her a sulky look. "You're not my mum."

Harry knelt down quickly next to the girl. "Your mum will be here soon, Eleanor. Why don't you…"

"Nuh-uh." Eleanor shook her head and ran off.

Finally Hermione couldn't restrain herself. "Harry, whose children…"

"The Harpies, they're the Harpies' kids. Ginny told Skye Poynter, the Keeper, that I'd watch her daughter and they could go to the shops, and, well, it just kind of went from there." A loud crash was heard from upstairs, along with the distinctive sounds of someone crying. Harry shook his head. "Oh Merlin."

"How many…"

"Ten. Ten kids, all under eight. I think." Harry sighed and started upstairs. "They were supposed to be back here over an hour ago."

"Oh my." Hermione chuckled and then stared at her friend as he began to go upstairs. "Harry? What is on…?"

Harry reached back and felt his jeans. "Merlin's pants! They put clotted cream in my pockets? How did they do that?"

Hermione's eyebrow rose. "I think it's more than clotted cream. Go up and see what's the matter, I'll see what I can do down here."

-ooo-

As Hermione began her search giggles could be heard throughout the sitting room. One little boy tried to make a break for it but she caught him, pulled him up into her arms and gave him a rather stern look. "Is this how you've been taught to behave? What would your mum say?"

He squirmed to get out of her arms but Hermione held him tightly. Eventually the boy gave up. "Billy's fault, not me. Imma a good boy." He batted his eyes at her and gave her puppy dog eyes. "Imma good boy."

"Yes. Well, we'll see about that." Hermione looked quickly around the room, trying to find something, anything to keep him occupied. Finally lighting upon a copy of _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_ she began to walk over to the bookcase, only to bump up against something soft, small, and giggling.

"Found us!" A boy and a girl threw off Harry's invisibility cloak, tossed it on the floor and ran off laughing.

Before she could say anything the little boy in her arms squirmed so much that Hermione had to reach out and grab his leg to keep him from falling to the floor. It was at that point that Harry came downstairs with a little girl in his arms.

"Oh bloo…darn, that's where my cloak went to!" He sat the girl on the sofa and quickly retrieved his cloak, tucking it under his arm. "Looks like you've got one, Hermione. I swear it's worse than when Lockhart let all those Cornish Pixies loose in class."

They sat the children on the sofa and Hermione charmed the book to read to them, magically turning the pages. After the children's attention was fully on the book she turned to Harry. "You're quite a sight, you know. I'm sure _The Daily Prophet_ would love pictures of you like this. You might even rate a pull-out poster in _Celebrity Wizard Weekly_."

Harry rolled his eyes. "They wanted to play Aurors and Death Eaters. Can you imagine that? We had to live through it and they're _playing_ it, for Godric's sake. The boys wanted to be me, so I had them draw straws. I even took one of Ginny's eye makeup thingies…"

"Eyebrow pencil?"

"Yeah, that. I sat him on the kitchen table and took one of those eyebrow pencil things, drew a lightning bolt scar on his head and transfigured a spoon into a pair of glasses for him. It was really, well, odd to see a little version of me. Sort of a version of me. Anyway, it was after doing the glasses bit that I sat down my wand to help one of the girls and that's when the little…"

Hermione raised a finger towards him. "Harry! Language. Little ears."

He rolled his eyes. "Just be glad you didn't hear what I said earlier. The boy stole my wand. It was just on the table one second and then next thing I know he had it and was running through the house yelling about how he was going to beat up Voldemort. Then they all, well, they all went mental. Joey, the boy who has my wand, started waving it about. Somehow he turned my hair green, somehow or other my enchanted razor, the one Molly got me for Christmas, it started flying about doing the bit on my hair then and someone found my invisibility cloak, and that's when I gave up and sent you the letter."

After nodding, and doing a rather good job to maintain a straight face Hermione repaired Harry's hair, turning it back into its regular untidy black state and repairing the bald spots. "Turn around and let me see what they did to your pockets."

Harry reached behind and stuck a hand in his left pocket, made a noise and pulled out the remains of a burnt sausage. "What the…that's what Ginny threw in the bin this morning! She burnt breakfast!"

Hermione sniffed. "It smells horrible. I think…" She stepped closer and with a finger she gently pulled back his pocket. "I think that whatever was in your kitchen bin is now in your pockets, Harry." She waved her wand and Harry's bulging pockets returned to their normal size, and most importantly, their normal smell. "There. Now why don't you sit down with the children and let me handle the rest."

"I can't believe this is happening to me. Me, Hermione, me…I mean, I can go after Death Eaters, but little kids? Ginny's talked about having kids, but now?" He sat down as Hermione indicated and put his head in his hands. A few moments later Harry heard Hermione _accio_ his wand and shortly thereafter all of the kids came downstairs in a line, looking as if they were doomed.

-ooo-

Ginny Potter arrived home in high spirits along with the rest of her Harpies teammates. After they sat down their packages and bags Skye Poynter cupped her ear and listened intently.

"Don't hear anything, do you?" She looked to the other Harpies and then to Ginny. "Seems like your husband managed quite well, don't know what you were on about earlier. You're going to win that bet."

Ginny shrugged. "Well, he's very good with Teddy, his godson, but I thought that many little ones at once would be too much for him."

As Ginny led the Harpies through the house they finally found everyone in the kitchen. Harry sat at the head of the table, drinking a butterbeer while Hermione Weasley handed out apple slices on small plates to the children. "Hermione? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Hermione gave a little boy his plate and then looked at Ginny. "Yes, well, Harry sent me an owl. Not a problem, light day at the office and all that."

Harry looked at Ginny briefly and then returned to his butterbeer.

Skye went over to her daughter. "Eleanor, were you good for Mr. Potter?"

"Hi mum, um, um, um, well, um, um, um…"

"That means no, obviously." Skye looked over to Harry. "How bad was it? So bad you had to call in an Order of Merlin recipient?"

"MUM!" The little boy who stole Harry's wand bolted out of his chair and over to his mum. "I got to be Harry Potter and I took his wand and then his hair was green and then Bobby got his invisbilty cloak and…"

"You what?" The tall dark-headed woman's eyes were wide as she looked to Harry. "Merlin! I'm so sorry, I didn't think…"

Ginny took a step back and leaned against the kitchen counter. "So, I take it things didn't go well?" Her voice was nervous. "Harry?"

Harry looked up from his butterbeer. "One. We're only having one, and it's not going to be for a long, long time. And remind me to have a long, long talk with your mum whenever it does happen."

Skye picked up Eleanor, walked over to Ginny and put out her hand.

After Ginny gave her the Galleon she walked over, kissed Harry on the cheek and then quickly went back to her shopping bag. Once she'd found the book she went over to the bookcase and hid the book behind some particularly nasty tomes inherited from the Blacks. _Raising a Magical Child_ remained hidden behind _Muggle Torment in Ten Easy Steps_ for a long, long time.


End file.
